The Sports Beat

• Usain Bolt is the coolest man in the world.  There is no one I’d rather be than Usain Bolt, with the lone possible exception of Snoop Dogg.  Bolt owns the competition.  He’s so fast that he obliterates world records and celebrates that fact long before he finishes the race.  He also does that cool lightning bolt thing before he runs, and is tall and jacked.  Sounds like an ideal wide receiver.  Only if he signed with an NFL team instead of celebrating and having fun like he does now, Skip Bayless and the No Fun League would freak out and convince people that enjoying the game is inherently wrong.
• Jed Lowrie is solid.  He’s infinitely better than Julio Lugo, who my roommate calls “The Drunk” and had a domestic violence dispute long before he started being absolutely terrible at baseball.  Lowrie could be our replacement for Lugo next year, and then perhaps Mike Lowell in a couple more if this year’s #1 pick, Casey Kelly, remains at the 5 on your box score.  I love all the players the Boston system has started producing, but the next wave–Lars Anderson, Josh Reddick, et al–are going to have to produce big offensive numbers now that Manny’s gone, Bay’ll likely be gone after next year, and Papi’s nearing the end of his prime.
• The NBA East is actually getting better now.  With the Jermaine O’Neal and Mo Williams trades making the Cavs and Raptors much scarier, the signing of Elton Brand by Philly, and the arrival of Derrick Rose and Michael Beasley, things are finally started to get interesting on the elder coast.  I would push the number of bonafied conference title contenders to five, Boston, Detroit, Philly, Toronto, and Cleveland, with Orlando a tiny notch below (one or two smart moves away).
• Ben Gordon is insane.  He thinks he’s worth star money when he only has one skill–granted the one that generally earns the most–and is short for his position.  From Jordan to Gordon?  Not so much.
• Autumn means falling leaves, crisp nights, and the best time of the year to be a sports fan.  October will be here before you know it; hopefully Dane Cook won’t be its spokesperson this time around.
• Brett Favre is to ESPN as Barack Obama is to CNN.

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