The Sports Beat

Here we go:

• The Bruins passed an important test last night against the NHL’s perennial elite, the Detroit Red Wings. In fact, one could say they scored a perfect 1600…er, uh, 2400?? Let’s just say they did really well.
• After all the talk of team last year involving the Celtics, it may be even more true this season. The Celtics have gotten improved contributiuons from Tony Allen, Rajon Rondo, and more recently from Kendrick Perkins, just in time to make up for a drop-off from Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett. Also, Ray Alle has solidly improved his performance as well, mostly due to driving to the basket more often and acting like the complete scorer he truly is.
• I think it’s safe to say that it’s time for Plaxico “Cheddar Bob” Burress to go. Having him on your team is like going to a night club with P Diddy–it might be a blast for a while but in the end someone’s getting shot.
• I can’t believe how great a job Donnie Walsh has done in Manhattan in such a short period of time. Not only has he hired a great coach who has turned things around instantly and given fans a reason to at least respect the organization somewhat, he’s positioned the franchise to not only revive itself in 2010 but to put a vice grip on the sport. If certain moves are made the Knicks could somehow come away with at least one of the following: LeBron James, Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh, and Amare Stoudamire. Simply incredible.

OK, this is long overdue. The Boston Bruins, the once-again Big, Bad Bruins, are straight killin’ it.

Milan Lucic, Phil Kessel, MARC SAVARD, Patrice Bergeron, Dennis Wideman, Zdeno Chara, Andrew Ference, Chuck Kobasew, and TIMOTHY THOMAS are all straight killin’ it. And I’m lovin’ it like Justin Timberlake.

OK, enough with this frivolous, self-indulgent writing, now let’s get to some more aprpopriate commentary.

The Bruins are legitimate. They have a top-notch netminder, and a quality backup. In addition they have a top prospect in Providence champing at the bit for a chance up north. They have a team that plays in all three zones and competes nightly. Thier coach has the respect of the team and gets a great effort nightly from his players. Their deep up the middle and have upside on the wings. They play well on special teams. They also have tremendous depth in the minor leagues and a bright future. Essentially, if you’re not a Bruins fan you’re jealous.

So, what should Cam Neely and his front office do to maintain the optimism that’s sprouting on Causeway as leaves fall and snow edges onto the horizon like an attacking army?

Keep the pressure on.

Like a baseball team with an early lead in a series, continuing to run the bases with fervor and pitching aggressively is key. For the Bruins, looking to make moves is like stealing second with no outs and a 2-0 count. If you succeed you can break your opponent’s will.

Ilya Kovalchuk is a free agent after this season–look into acquiring the incredibly talented winger. Perhaps another top-two defenseman becomes available? Look into it. Above all, never stop looking for improvement from any and all facets of the team and organization.

Look for better merchandising, better marketing, better coaching, and better play. And don’t be sting (I’m talking to you, Jeremy Jacobs). Spend money when necessary.

Do these things and this year’s team will quickly rival its Boston siblings for parental attention. After all, isn’t that what we’re all looking for? A little approval from the ones who mean the most to us? So far the forgotten child of Boston has my attention for all the right reasons, here’s hoping I feel the same in a few months.

I just want to call your attention to a few things I’ve noticed that amuse me:

• Brian Scalabrine is having a career-year in terms of PER at just over 11.00. Amazing.
• Tony Allen is BACK. Dude is almost 100% back to where he was before his post-whistle dunk. I’d say he’s at 89% back. The unfortunate part is that while he’s a better player than James Posey, he’s a worse fit for the green.
• Speaking of Green, Gerald is back to being terrible after a brief stint as an effective shooter during the season’s first few games. Too bad, I thought he could be the next T-Mac when he first hit the scene–and I meant the guy on the Magic, not the bum who’s always hurt and less-than-advertised in Houston.
• LeBron James, Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh. Pick one or two of them and slot them on the Knicks in 2010 thanks to Donnie Walsh’s genius maneuvers. The Nets better hurry up and get to Brooklyn already if they think they’re landing anyone, let alone the King.
• The Lakers are looking absurdly good, you can pencil them back in the Finals again this spring.
• Meanwhile, back in the better conference (yup, that’s right), the Celtics and Cavs will likely be facing off in the Conference Championship before heading to L.A.
• Chris Paul, Dwayne Wade, and LeBron James are all putting up insane seasons. Thier PERs are all over 32.00.
• Kevin Garnett’s numbers are wayyyyyy down. He needs to attack the basket a bit more–like he did Sunday against the Raptors–in order to raise his PER back up to the mid-20s level we’ve grown so accustomed to during The Big Ticket’s storied career.
• Leon Powe might be the best dunker in the NBA.

After signing a new deal this offseason number 16 may be signing his name Matt Ca$$el. 

It started as a joke. Not necessarily a very funny one, but one I made several times nonetheless.

“After Matt Cassel wins the MVP and we win the Super Bowl we’re gonna trade Brady for three first-rounders and restock the defense,” I would tell whomever would listen, attentatively or not, after Tom Brady went down for the season after just 11 pass attempts.

At 26 and finally getting a chance to take some goddamn reps after his stint as Backup to the Stars (Carson Palmer, Matt Leinart, and Tom Brady chronologically), trading the 31-year-old Brady for a boatload of young studs to shore up our quickly aging defense and shallow depth in the defensive backfield would be ideal. But it was nothing more than a wistful idea.

In fact, it was more to cheer myself up than anything–the reigning MVP and best player in football was done, and our season was too. If we could joke about lightning striking a successful New England quarterback twice, first the dearly-departed Drew Bledsoe, and now his model-replacement, then the harsh reality of 15 sad Sundays (or Mondays, or Thursdays) wouldn’t hurt as much. It’s a classic approach–ease the pain by putting it right out there.

All proceeded as we truly expected through the first nine games of the Cassel Experiment, with the almost lifelong backup playing relatively well, but lacking the clutch kick Brady has shown throughout his storybook career and failing to handle pressure well enough to become a star. Cassel had the tools–he could make decent reads, has a good arm, throws a tight, accurate spiral, and can run with almost any quarterback in the league. But, without the ability to sidestep pressure and avoid the urge to run for a two-yard gain every time the pocket shrank, he was destined to be nothing more than a sidenote in the NFL’s modern version of a dynasty.

Then he pulled a reverse-Kafka, becoming the man.

In an overtime loss against the Jets last Thursday night, Cassel took over. His numbers popped: 400 yards passing and 100 yards rushing. He was what Michael Vick should have been before the Georgia inmate shortened his first name and starting torturing canines.

But, despite the big numbers and his better-than Brady-like throw on the run to Randy Moss at the end of regulation to tie the game, Cassel had not convinced me he was the real deal. Then came today.

Another 400 yards passing. A rushing touchdown and an epic six-yard gain on a QB sneak, a growing rapport with Randy Moss, and a second-consecutive dominant fourth quarter.

But what has officially put my “trade Brady” joke into the realm of possibility is Matt Cassel’s newfound proficiency in the pocket. Today he didn’t panic when blitzes came, he merely felt their heat blasting his way like a furnace and moved to cooler ground, looking to pass first and run only if there were a concrete reason for doing so. He looked calm and poised as his confidence spread throughout his offense and New England’s spoiled fans.

Matt Cassel has arrived.

So, once this absurd season that has seen more Patriots hit the infirmary at Foxborough than at Lexington and Concord, if the man who has spent the majority of his adult life watching from the shadows leads his team to a win or two under the biggest spotlight of all–the postseason–it might be time to turn an absurd joke into a restocking effort Wall Street would appreciate.

The NBA has suspended Kevin Garnett one game for smacking Andrew Bogut in the face this weekend. The decision should be about as popular as George Bush.

Garnett (over)reacted to a hit to his face by swinging his hand at Milwaukee’s resident Australian in retaliation on Saturday night. His blow glanced Bogut, and both players were hit with technical fouls; Bogut’s was his second of the game, thus earning him an early release from the principal. The decision to give Bogut a technical in that situation was absurd–he didn’t appear to have intentionally hit KG in the face, and even if he did, it was about as effective as an A-Rod slap of Bronson Arroyo. In my opinion, neither player should have received any sort of technical, nor any sort of ensuing punishment. But, as usual, the NBA went overboard like the world was sinking after a scratch on the hull.

It’s typical overreaction like this that makes the NBA’s player conduct rules so nebulous. At the same time that the league allows its players to travel, palm, and shove incessantly, it mandates fancy clothing worn to and from the stadium and suspends players almost aimlessly. Is it perhaps because the majority of the players don’t look like the majority of the NBA’s paying customers and the ghost of Ron Artest still walks the hardwood floors of the Association? 

Don’t discount that option. But, at the same time, don’t discount Andrew Bogut’s disgust at the lifestyle his contemporaries often choose: groupies, drugs, and rain showers Lil Wayne would be proud of.

I’m not saying that lifestyle is right or wrong, but the NBA surely has the right to try to tone down negative PR caused by its players. But, let’s just say putting lipstick on a pig isn’t the answer, maybe changing the system that encourages mucking around in the mud is a better idea.

Suspending players for minor scraps isn’t that. But not catering to every whim and “need” these rosters of millionaires think up is a start. Giving coaches real power by allowing them to fine players and sit them without pay should they warrant such penalties (hey, Starbury), enforcing a code of conduct that doesn’t amount to a silly, culturally insensitive dress code, or telling a guy he’s really not all that once in a while could help.

Who knows? But please, Mr. Stern and friends, this isn’t field hockey, so stop using your whistle every ten seconds, all it does is blow. 

• Did you see ESPN.com’s report about how the Red Sox wanted to suspend Manny Ramirez before last season’s trade deadline? Hilarious stuff. Let me give you a little snippet of the gaiety:

“For weeks leading up to the July 31 trading deadline, Ramirez had been complaining of pain in his right knee. After he told Boston manager Terry Francona that his knee was too sore to play on July 25, the Red Sox’s front office ordered an MRI exam during that night’s game against the Yankees.

But on the way to the exam, Ramirez, according to sources, couldn’t remember which knee was sore. So the Red Sox had both of his knees examined. The MRIs revealed no damage in either.”

***

“A number of incidents earlier in the season added to the tension between Ramirez and the Red Sox. Just after the All-Star break, Boston was swept in Anaheim, a series in which Ramirez reached base in eight of his 13 plate appearances. But late on Sunday afternoon, July 20, as the team was leaving Anaheim for Seattle, he initially refused to board the charter flight. Sources said he told the Red Sox that his knees were so sore, he couldn’t play for three weeks.

He eventually boarded the flight and played in the first two games against the Mariners, reaching base in six of the 10 times he stepped to the plate, before telling Francona his right knee was too sore to play on July 23.

On June 28, Ramirez shoved 64-year-old traveling secretary Jack McCormick to the ground inside Houston’s Minute Maid Park clubhouse after Ramirez was told McCormick might not be able to accommodate his 16-ticket request.”

Oh, man. He forgot which knee hurt. Priceless stuff. If only these reports could be substantiated with quotations attributed to reputable sources we could have quite the read on our hands. I guess we’ll have to wait a few years until Manny’s out of the game and then we can get the dirt. The real question is who will play Manny in Jimmy Fallon’s ”Manny Being Manny?”

• In other news, the Yankees are officially making moves. Or rather, intend to do so. They’ve made one, acquiring Nick Swisher for a brown bag of flaming feces, a move I quite like, and now intend to sign every free agent pitcher to ever walk the face of the earth. I hope it happens–it’ll make them more interesting in the short-term and cost them prospects in years to come, thus keeping them from reaching 27th Heaven. (Hey, Hank, my stuff is almost comparable to Chad Bradford’s from a 1/4 arm slot, how ’bout you give me a few bucks to chuck it for ya? At the very least it’ll be entertaining for the fans, and there’s no way I could be a worse investment than Carl Pavano was–wait, nevermind, Pavano was a great investment, just like Enron, AIG, Lehman Brothers, and me, Brandon Simes!)

• Rumor (Central) has it that Jason Varitek isn’t looking for a Posada-like deal anymore. Gee, you think the fact that he’s become an abysmal offensive player, his defense is only above-average, and he’s old has anything to do with that? I wouldn’t give him more than a one-year deal worth $5 or $6 million with an option year worth the same only on the team’s terms (meaning a team option or a vested option based on incentives, like having an OBP above .330 in more than 100 games).

Here are some random observations from the first few weeks of the NBA season:

• The Celtics appear to be just as we expected–a tad bit less enthusiastic, playing at a slightly slower pace, with Rondo’s stats improving and everyone else’s dropping (although it’s very early and PERs below 15.00 from many rotation members should change positively).
• LeBron and Kevin Durant have mostly stopped jacking threes.  This is good news for their teams, since neither has demonstrated sufficient range yet to hit from deep. Durant, however, will almost certainly reach a point when he becomes lethal from international waters whereas Prince James will likely not. If LeBron limits his three-point attempts to one open shot per game he’ll increase his efficiency even more–difficult considering he’s the best player on the planet (sorry, P^2, you won a title but that title–BPOTP–remains LeBron’s).
• Chris Paul, Dwight Howard, Amare Stoudamire, and LeBron own the Association now and will for the next 5-10 years.
• The Piston-Nuggets trade is a strange one. It’s perfect for Denver, except for McDyess messing things up a bit, but questionable for the Pistons.  AI at Detroit’s point fits worse than an isotoner on O.J. Simpson. He doesn’t play defense and is a volume scorer prone to turnovers on a stoic team in need of more Rodney Stuckey, not less. The cap room Detroit receives is tremendous, but it’s hard to see LeBron choosing the Motor City over Brooklyn, Manhattan, or any of the many suitors he’ll have–from Cleveland to Italy. This move sets up Joe Dumars’ team up for another playoff failure before the rebuilding really starts.
• Philadelphia will be alright. They’ve got an impressive starting lineup that will right itself in time and Thaddeus Young is perfect stroking from range at the small forward position.  The 20-year-old from Georgia Tech is shooting an absurd 48% from behind the big arc and 52% overall. He might just turn out to be good enough to throw his name into the Amare-LeBron-CP3-Dwight Howard ring in a few years.
• The Lakers are scary good. Their point differential during a 4-0 start is an insane 20.8 points per game. They are the favorites.